Time was that only telepohne operators at the phone company had them. Then the guys from NASA... those headsets with the earphone and the microphone. You had to be an astronaut or rocket scientist to use one.

Then, Bill Parsells had one on the sidelines to talk to all the scouts in the stands. He had to have his hands free to signal the players. Shortly thereafter, you would see them on receptionists and clerks. Customer support people had them (I did, too, in my days as a software customer service rep) so that our hands could type or program or whatever.

Then the drive thru people at fast food chains had more sophisticated equipment than the FAA flight controllers. Headsets to ask "You want fries with that?"

But up until then, the users of this convenient technology were all wired to the workplace: anchored down by an umbilical tether that restricted them to their work envirnment.

Then Madonna and Garth Brookes started using headset mikes to dance and play the guitar in their concerts. So do rappers and boy groups like NSYNC. OK.... they have the $$$ and the application is reasonable.

My epiphany came while volunteering at my parish as a Midway Captain at our church bazaar, or as we called it, The Festival. I was in constant communication with the Sitiuation Room (the money room in the convent) where the Committee made plans, dealt with problems, broadcast announcements, and notified the North end of the lot that pretzels were on the way. Yes, I had graduated from just my work headset to a walkie-talkie with a headset. The Midway captains, the security team and the Committee all had them. The air chatter was filled with requests for singles at the Dunking Booth, the need for Security to break up a fracas in front of the Casino tent and a secret code telling those with the secret password that there was a Babe on the lot, giving her EXACT location, direction and ETA at select spots on the lot. Yes, we were the Elite. WE HAD HEADSETS!

Now, the need to communicate is never greater than in the retail arena. Your cashier at the supermarket will pick up her phone and announce "Price check at register 5." And how many times have you been in Home Depot and heard "I need a head cashier at register 12"? And there is ALWAYS "Electrical, you have a call on line 17." Inevitably, the Electrical associate (they aren't salespeople anymore) would rush to the black wall phone and punch up line 17. NO MORE! now, at my supermarket and the aforementioned Home Depot, they are carrying cordless cell phones! Good, smart move.

The point of this everlasting whine? I have witnessed the silliest application of all this technology in our 1998 Christmas shopping!

Rita and I were in the Old Navy store shopping for the kids. There, folding sweaters to be placed upon the various tables and displays, were the usual just post pubescent girls and guys, nails done, pimples intact. And there they were... HEADSETS to cell phones! These kids were running around the store, not 20 feet from each other, using this high tech to ask if the sweatshirts in aisle 15 came in XXL! In the old days sales people (Yeah I know, I am not PC) would KNOW or would GO AND ASK! or would pick up the phone. Nope, not for these experts! These sales associates. THEY have such a crushing responsibility that they have to be in IMMEDIATE touch with their powers that be to get that immediate answer.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

Sometimes, I think we, as a society, are pretty silly.

Note to all advertisers in the USA: IF I HEAR THE EXPRESSION "THE GUARANTEED LOWEST PRICES" IN A COMMERCIAL ONE MORE TIME, I AM GONNA SCREAM!!!

Merry Christmas everybody.